Gentleman
by Neko-Kanojo
Summary: Megamind can be quite the little gentleman when he needs to be. Three times he proved this fact to Roxanne, pre, during and post film. Roxanne/Megamind if you squint. Rated T for the last chapter.
1. Special Occasion

GENTLEMAN

Summary: Megamind can be quite the little gentleman when he needs to be. Three times he proved this fact to Roxanne, pre, during and post film. Roxanne/Megamind if you squint.

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Megamind. DreamWorks does, and may I just say they have impressed me lately… Keep it going, DreamWorks!

-

Pre-film: SPECIAL OCCASION

Sunshine filled the room, crawling steadily toward Roxanne's bed through the thin curtains. She grumbled to herself when the light hit her face and woke her: she'd have to refurnish her apartment one of these days. It had been on her to-do list forever now.

The living room set her parents had given her when she'd moved out the house of was getting old; she needed new curtains and felt she deserved a better coffee machine. She wouldn't have time to go shopping today either, but maybe, just maybe she would go out and finally buy herself a fancy coffee machine like she'd always wanted.

And speaking of coffee, she needed one right now. It was amazing how the thought of a cup of coffee could get you out of bed that fast. So she slipped a sweater over he silky nightgown and pushed her feet into a pair of fluffy slippers before shuffling her feet on the way to the kitchen.

She didn't go far before she felt a presence behind her. After a moment of insecurity, she turned to glare at her living room where she found a certain robotic ape trying to hide behind the couch, not realizing just how visible his watery dome of a head was. Roxanne groaned, clutching her head, and Minion took that as a cue to reveal himself, trying his best to look imposing. His can of knock-out spray was pointed at her face, but she remained calm.

Instead of panicking like any other random citizen of Metro City would, Roxanne checked her watch. "It's hardly even 10 AM yet... This is a first." She sighed at him, but his fishy little grin did not fade. "I know... Sorry for any inconvenience, but the boss instructed me to pick you up at ten."

"Is that so? Well you'll have to tell _the boss_ that he chose the wrong day." Roxanne told him, rather snippedly.

Her comment went ignored as Minion fidgeted with the knock-out gas. "Yes I understand, but I've received instructions! Please, you're always so willing usually...?"

"What on earth could Megamind have planned this early -"

"Actually," Minion offered, "I kind of did this behind his back." The fish said this very fast, too fast for Roxanne's liking. Something wasn't quite right... But she couldn't find herself to care for now. Turning on her heels, she slipped past and into the kitchen. She heard Minion follow her with heavy metallic steps upon her wooden floor. "I don't have time to get kidnapped today Minion," she explained as she turned on the coffee machine and sat at the counter, "I have a day off, I'm going out, I've got people to meet up with, so please leave. It's something I've been planning for a while now. And besides, we're always polite to each other... I wish you'd just understand."

At first, Minion appeared disappointed, but it might have been her imagination. He stood up straighter and brandished the can of spray again. "No, I've been instructed to kidnap you so I'm kidnapping you and that's final." He didn't flinch when Roxanne twisted her lip angrily, an admirable feat. In the end, she sighed and gave in.

"All right, all right, just... Let me have my coffee and get dressed at least." The coffee machine made a strange sound and she hissed at it angrily. "If this stupid thing would just work! I really need a new one..." She grumbled as she finally poured herself a much-needed steaming mug, and noted that Minion hadn't replied, busy studying her.

To save herself, and most probably him too, from the awkwardness, she drank her coffee fast then moved to her bedroom to dress up. He thankfully didn't follow her there, not that she would've let him.

Deciding not to dress too fancy yet, in case something happened during the kidnapping that could harm her clothes, she simply threw on some dark jeans and a simple red cotton t-shirt.

As soon as she opened her bedroom door, she was thrown into a pit of darkness before her head even hit the floor.

-

Her vision blurred for a moment, and she was vaguely aware of two voices hurriedly talking to each other. She also noticed there was no potato sack on her head today. Her body was tied with the usual rope, but the absence of bag made up for it. Now her mind was still fuzzy from the knock-out spray and it took her several long seconds to register what she was seeing.

Megamind's lair, one she didn't recognize, came into focus, and she gasped. There were balloons all around and a hand-written banner that read 'Happy Birthday Miss Ritchie' in cute bubble letters. What the heck was going on? And more importantly: Megamind knew it was her birthday?

Her train of thought was stopped by a high leather chair rolling into view, its back to her as usual. The chair turned with a kick of a boot and revealed Megamind in all his spiky leather splendor, sporting an even higher collar than usual, casually stroking a trembling brainbot. "Ahhh Miss Ritchie, we meet again." He said, letting certain vowels drone on longer than necessary. Roxanne fidgeted in her seat. "And all this is-"

"Minion's idea." He hastily replied, before resuming his typical evil look of polite disinterest. "It was my horrifically _bad_ idea to kidnap you on your day of birth, one of the happiest days of the year for you, but _someone_," he glanced pointedly at his henchman, "seemed to think it was an occasion worth celebrating." Minion grinned at her from afar, unbeknownst to his master, and Roxanne smirked. Everything Megamind had just said sounded a little...fake. But she decided to play along for now. At least until she figured this out.

Meanwhile, brainbots flooded in around her, momentarily blocking Megamind from view. She flinched; never quite sure what those little bots were capable of. They often made her feel quite uneasy. However, when they parted, a small table with a tiny chocolate-raspberry mousse cake upon it was revealed, causing her to gasp once more.

"Birthday delicacy provided by Minion of course," Megamind explained, as if the cake really needed much explanation, "I take it that is the usual custom for birthdays?" He settled his elbows upon his knees, knotting his fingers together and resting his chin upon the backs of his hands with an air of quaint interest. Roxanne was still staring at the cake, the most delicious one she'd ever laid eyes on, and looked up only when Megamind coughed quietly to break the silence. "I... Yes it is. Don't _you/_have a birthday, Megamind? Surely, I thought someone with an ego such as yours would celebrate their birthday most... extravagantly... no?" She questioned, searching his eyes. He quirked a smile.

"Of course I do. I always unfold my BEST plans on my birthday, which is eight days before Christmas incident-_olly_. Haven't you noticed?" He chuckled at his own musings, and Roxanne, choosing to ignore his mispronunciation, realized he was right. His evil plots always seemed to be more grandiose around Christmas time. She'd always thought it was because he liked to ruin the festive spirit for everyone.

Which was probably also the case. But never mind that now. What was going on here? Villains were supposed to kidnap damsels, dangle them over shark pits and threaten to rip their favorite dress, not sit them in a comfortable chair and offer them delicious birthday cake... Of course Roxanne knew Megamind wasn't the most evil villain around, for he'd never hurt a single hair on her head, but this was simply... Too nice by his standards. So was this really all Minion's idea? "Now," Megamind chuckled, his voice low and excited, "Let my plan begin!" He set his hands back on the sides of his chair, gripping the leather, and swung around to his desk, where the usual monitors and blinky dials and such were installed.

Oh boy, here we go... He was probably going to call Metro Man now, and that would be awkward for everybody. So this was all a plan was it? Was this cake poisoned or something?

After typing a few things on his computer, Minion called out cheerily, as usual, "All systems go, sir!"

"Excellent!" Megamind grinned the most devious of grins, before turning back to Roxanne, one of his hands still resting upon the chair, and the other spread out on his keyboard. "Now we won't be calling up your /boyfriend/ today Miss Ritchie. I feel I should inform you that it just so happens your frequent kidnapping card is full as of today." Roxanne blinked. She hadn't even noticed, nor had she ever really wondered what would happen when it was full. "Okay, so? What happens then?" She asked, when the long silence told her Megamind was waiting for her to speak. Perhaps he wanted her to ask for dramatic effect.

Indeed, he lifted a finger into the air; "Aha!" _There_ you go, Roxanne smirked. "As this, ah, very special occasion happens to be on the same day as your birthday, I thought I'd offer you something. Even though your 'frightened damsel' role has been lacking in the screaming and struggling departments... You are still here after all these years. Three, in fact. I haven't forgotten." He glanced momentarily at Minion, as if he were nervous. "So, a birthday present. Whatever you want." Again, Roxanne simply blinked. He was offering her gifts now? What kind of a villain was he? Granted he was a villain who offered a frequent kidnapping card, but still.

Although his smile at the moment seemed to be... quite genuine. This wasn't simply an obligation caused by the card, nor her birthday.

Still, she shook her head. "No way. I can't accept this. You... I don't want to make you buy anything." As to be perfectly clear, she shook her head a second time. Megamind laughed. "Miss Ritchie... I don't _buy _stuff you know..." He stopped when he saw her less-than-impressed expression, and coughed. "Except for when I do! Buy stuff... you know... sometimes! My baby seal boots were bought! With legal tender!" He said this rather proudly, and Roxanne had to point out: "Yes but they're made from baby seals, which is..."

"Yes?" The alien cupped his ear, a smile curling at the corner of his lips. Roxanne sighed, "Evil." Megamind definitely looked pleased this time. "Yes! And well, if you're going to be difficult, I guess this is over."

For just a second, she thought she saw him exchange a pleased look with Minion, but then he sighed and sat back on his chair, gazing intently at her. "Minion, put Miss Ritchie's cake in a box will you?"

Right on cue, the fish approached with a small box, and carefully placed the cake inside. He then shook the can of knock out gas and sprayed a cloud of it into her face.

Shortly after he did, just as darkness began to creep up on her, Roxanne distinctly heard Megamind say; "Do you think she knew it was really me who set this up, Minion?"

She couldn't help but smile.

-

It was a nearly noon when Roxanne came to, sprawled comfortably on her couch. She was awfully hungry, but she waited a few moments before getting up, knowing how the gas could give headaches if one stood up too fast.

She went over to her kitchen, where she found the box with Minion's cake inside. It still looked delicious, and she decided she'd eat it after lunch. At least this whole situation hadn't lasted long: she still had time to get ready before meeting with her friends later. But now she wouldn't get to go buy a coffee machine... It would have to wait a little while again she supposed.

As she made her way over to her fridge to start lunch, she noticed out of the corner of her eye a large metal thing on her counter. When she turned to look, she couldn't believe her eyes. And then she laughed.

It was a brand new Delonghi coffee machine, complete with functions for macchiato and espressos and for making foamy milk! But how could he have known...?

After observing the gift a little longer she remembered mentioning out loud that she wanted a new machine when Minion came to kidnap her. He must have told Megamind, because they must have known she'd refuse gifts from them.

It was actually quite sweet of him, she decided in the end, as she sipped a latte while enjoying the choco-raspberry mousse. 


	2. Three Kisses

GENTLEMAN

A/N: Hey guys! Thanks a lot to everyone who commented! I'm really glad people like this. So here, have another chapter! In this one, our favorite blue alien is 'Bernard', but we all know who he really is, unlike Roxanne! I feel like Bernard and Roxanne might have been dating longer than the movie actually lets on, so the scene in the restaurant probably wasn't their first kiss… Our 'Bernard' was just way too comfortable with it! And I'm using too many exclamation points! Ha ha, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I still do not own any of the characters or anything relating to the original plot of the movie. No profit is being made here other than my own amusement. Boo me.

During film: THREE KISSES

Today had been one of the best days Roxanne had ever spent with someone, or at least, the most perfect day she'd had for a very long time. It had been so long since she could honestly say she was having fun, and enjoying someone's company. Yes, it had been a very enjoyable afternoon at the Metro City art museum. With all the bad things that had been happening lately, starting with Metro Man's death, and now with Megamind running the city, it felt like Bernard had entered her life at the most perfect time. Roxanne had never met anyone like him. He was sweet, and smart, and understanding, but most of all, he seemed genuinely interested in her. A quality most of her past boyfriends had lacked.

She turned her head to glance at Bernard, who was currently paying for coffee at the counter of the Starbucks they were in, and smiled. He'd been just perfect up to now. Very kind and funny, he'd pulled up a chair for her when they had entered the coffee shop, asked her what she wanted, then gone to the counter. Before long, he was walking over with two mugs and a small brown bag in hand. "I got you a muffin." He said meekly as he sat down, nudging the bag toward her. This was another thing Roxanne found appealing in him; a kind of childish shyness that came through whenever he did something for her.

"Oh! Well, thank you Bernard. You didn't have to though. Didn't you want one too?" She told him, her fingers prying the little bag open to reach the muffin. He shrugged, "Oh no it's fine, I had some doughnuts for lunch." Roxanne giggled; "Are you kidding? That would make my stomach ache for the whole afternoon!" Her comment seemed to surprise him, but he smiled anyway. "It's alright. I guess I'm used to it by now."

They sipped their coffee in comfortable silence for a few moments, Roxanne nibbling on the raspberry muffin occasionally. "So, what did you think of the museum?" Bernard asked her, his gaze hesitant on whether to meet hers or not for several seconds. He finally locked his eyes into hers just as she put her coffee mug down. Roxanne breathed a sigh of delight. "It was nice! I still can't believe Megamind put all those paintings back. I don't even remember the last time I went there though; I think I was still in college. Speaking of which, where did you go to school?" She dropped her gaze from his for a moment to pick up her muffin after asking the question, and didn't notice the panic that flashed upon his face.

'Bernard's' eyes darted in every direction as he struggled to come up with an adequate answer. He only then realized how little he even knew about the real Bernard, and how stupid of him it had been not to find out more about the man. Or at the very least, that he should have already prepared some cover up stories for his fake life.

And Now Roxanne was staring at him, expecting an answer in the next few seconds to come. "I uhhh…" Bernard coughed into the back of his hand, "Actually, I went to Browns!" He said this quickly, as it was the first university name he could think of. "Wow, that's pretty good." Roxanne commented. Megamind interiorly thought, _is it?_ He honestly hadn't much clue, but decided to go with it.

"Yeah, uh, they have a specialized program for the History of Superheroes and Villains studies." He had no idea if this was true, but he did know that program existed in certain establishments around the country. He had been greatly amused by this fact when Minion had told him about it actually.

But moving on, he stopped saying fake things, hoping Roxanne wouldn't be too curious. "Ok, so are you from Rhode Island then?" She asked, leaning on the table with her arm, her chin upon her fist. Megamind was about to answer that he did, but thought of the implications, and quickly diverted. "I… ye-NO. Actually I grew up in Massachusetts," Megamind had to struggle to get the name right at this point, "I had to move away from my parents to study. I don't see them much, they… aren't very proud of me. Anyways, I moved here after because I was fascinated with Megamind." He tried to sound secretive and sad when he spoke of his 'parents' so that there would be no awkward questions about family.

Thankfully, Roxanne didn't ask about his parents, sensing there was something cold there. Instead, she smirked. "Yeah… I know how that can be. So you've been studying Megamind ever since you came to Metro City then?" Bernard nodded, and decided he'd had enough of inventing random facts about his fake life for now. "Well, enough about me, what about you?" he asked, straightening up in his seat and offering a smile. As he listened to Roxanne talk about the process of her becoming a journalist and finally ending up being the city's top reporter, he began to wonder how he was even going to keep this up. First of all, he was hiding it from Minion, he was lying to Roxanne and also just barely keeping up with his own lies.

Like the time they went shopping and he'd had to sign a bill. It had been a particularly frightening moment for him as he racked his brains to try and remember what Bernard's last name was. Being such a genius of course, he finally remembered it to be 'Stiller'. Bernard Stiller still seemed a strange name by which to call himself, but he hoped he'd get used to it soon.

In fact, how long he could keep this whole thing up was a mystery for now. What if Roxanne actually decided she wanted to be with 'Bernard' for _ever_? There was no doubt she would, Megamind thought, a little bit panicked, for why _wouldn't_ she want to be with him? He was devilishly handsome and brilliant wasn't he? Of course, Bernard wasn't half as charming as he, but Roxanne could still count herself lucky in Megamind's opinion.

But actually, as he was watching her, Megamind came to the realization he should count himself lucky. Much more so than her. He smiled distractedly. She was truly an amazing person, and best of all, she _liked_ him. Him! He, who had never had much human contact, and certainly no loving human contact, was lucky enough to be her friend. A happy sigh escaped him as Roxanne concluded her story. "What's wrong?" She suddenly asked him, studying his face.

Sitting up straight at her comment, he couldn't help but smile even more. "Oh I was just thinking of how beautiful, smart and funny you are."

Roxanne blushed visibly at this. "Well, aren't you the charmer," she said, absent-mindedly brushing her bangs away from her eyes and hinting at a smile, "Mister museum curator." Bernard chuckled; "No I'm serious! Roxanne," he leant across the table to grasp her hands in his own, "you're the best person I've ever met." His thumb stroked across her fingers as he spoke, "I've never had this much fun with anyone before. This past month... has easily been one of the finest of my life. I hope you realize just how wonderful you are." Apparently, Roxanne didn't, because she flushed even more and smiled. "You're really sweet, Bernard."

Oh, what Megamind would have given for her to say his name instead of Bernard's just then.

"And you're really great, Roxanne." He said with a pained grin. She merely smiled back at him. Both their cups of coffee were done, and Roxanne's muffin was long gone, so they put their coats back on and went outside. The air was slightly bitter, making Roxanne pull her coat higher on her shoulders. Megamind didn't have a hat, since he'd never had one anyway (forgive the giant bulbous head) and also because Bernard's hair kept him sufficiently warm – he was still getting used to having hair though – and his coat was a little too thin. He wasn't really built for cold temperatures. Sometimes he wished he could have landed in California or something, but of course then he would never have met Roxanne.

He looked to his right, and she smiled back at him. Noticing she wasn't walking as fast as he was, he slowed a little and held out his arm. She looked pleasantly surprised, and blushed a little more as she fitted her arm around his. They walked like this peacefully until they were nearly in front of her apartment. There, Roxanne tightened her grip on his arm with one of her glove-covered hands and squeezed.

"This was a wonderful day Bernard." She smiled and turned to him, and this time he felt his face warm up significantly. Was he blushing now, too? Either way, they were at her apartment now, only a few steps away from the stairs of the building. "You make me really happy."

Megamind felt his breath hitch when he noticed her shuffling closer. Their faces were slowly closing in on each other, so that Megamind examined every little detail of her face. He could practically count the little freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks, and that little beauty spot just above her chin was even more apparent. Her eyes seemed to sparkle a little with happiness before her eyelids closed on them, her dark lashes fluttering. She was tilting her head to the side now, and Megamind found himself frozen to the spot, his poor heart thundering like crazy against his ribcage and a lump stuck in his throat.

When Roxanne became aware of his sudden stillness, her eyes opened. "Bernard… what's wrong?" Megamind was horrified: she looked concerned, and just a little hurt. "N-nothing… It's just… been a long time since I've… y'know…" He mumbled, feeling his face heat up some more. He must look ridiculous. To his surprise, she giggled. "Is that so?" Her expression was mischievous, "In that case, let me refresh your memory…"

Leaning in again, she was faster this time, and Megamind was ready now. In a heartbeat, their lips finally touched. Roxanne guided him for a moment, as they positioned themselves correctly, but Megamind quickly caught on. It was not a passionate kiss, but rather a gentle, uncertain yet engaging one. Megamind found his way around Roxanne to rest a hand on her hip just as she set hers on the side of his cheek, bending it against his jawbone. He took in her taste, carefully moving his lips in rhythm with hers and trying to memorize the feeling. She hummed appreciatively against him before they parted, Megamind's face (or rather Bernard's) stuck in a permanent kissing expression for a moment. Once he opened his eyes, he saw that Roxanne's still-pinkish face was still close to his own and smiled gently. Her hand was still cupping his face, and he happily leant into it, his eyes boring into hers. He wished they could stay like this forever, but Roxanne spoke, breaking the calm silence; "That was great, for a _first_ kiss." She told him deviously.

For a moment, he panicked. "H-how did you know it was my first kiss?" He stammered, eyes widening. A second later, her hand left his cheek, leaving the harsh air to invade his vulnerable neck. Her eyes were wide now, too. "I didn't, I just meant _our_ first kiss… in the sense that I'm hoping there'll be others." She told him, suddenly wary, and he mentally slapped himself for letting this deep part of himself show. That was Megamind speaking, not Bernard. Feeling rather foolish, he quickly explained. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you… Nobody's ever kissed me before."

At these words, her eyes softened. "You don't have to be sorry Bernard. I… Really, it doesn't change anything. I think you're cute anyway, so it doesn't matter. It was perfect." These words really meant a lot to Megamind, who was suddenly filled with even more happiness than before, if possible. That's when he decided to hug her. He'd never felt this close to anyone before, and he had to let her know. Apparently, he'd done the right thing because she grabbed his face once more and kissed him, smiling against his lips. He held her close and this time the kiss was much more confident.

"A perfect second kiss." He said, completing her last statement when they parted again. Roxanne shot him a questioning look, so he explained. "I'm talking about the one just now. I've decided I'm going to count them." He grinned at her, and it was returned.

After hesitating for a moment, he stepped back, still holding one of her hands in his. He slowly slipped her glove off as he spoke; "Have a nice evening and a good night, Roxanne. I'll call you soon." Her leather glove came off and he lifted her small hand to his lips, kissing it gently.

Roxanne smiled such a true smile back at him when he let go of her hand and handed her back her glove that he felt like he would give her anything she wanted at the moment without a moment's hesitation.

But it was over all too soon as she waved him goodbye one last time, leaving him to walk alone back to his lair. All in all though, it had still been the best day he'd had in a long time.

The memory of her kiss was enough to distract him from everything he did for at least a week. He was untalkative at the dinner table with Minion, and even Hal noticed that Space Dad wasn't very into training him these days. But Megamind didn't care because the thought of Roxanne brought a smile to his face every time, and that alone was enough to keep him going.

A/N: Love it? Hate it? I hope it wasn't too sickeningly sweet for you guys, but I figured it had to be more so than the last one since its Megamind's first real experience with dating. The next one will be more along the lines of _badass_ if you catch my drift! Anyways, I also wanted to say that I hope the whole Bernard/Megamind name switching wasn't confusing. I guess that in the beginning of the scene it was Roxanne thinking, so she would refer to him as Bernard, and the rest of it was from Megamind's point of view, so it would be easier to depict using his name. Whatever, I'm rambling now, so until next time!

P.S. though, I'm Canadian and I have no idea about American universities and stuff, so don't get angry if I messed something up haha. Also, I bet that History of Superheroes and Villains class would actually exist in the Megamind universe, don't you? Boy, would I sure like to take that class. :D

Just another thing before I forget… Ben Stiller voiced the 'real' Bernard in the movie, so I figured I'd give him Stiller's name, right? Right? Who's with me? …I'm going to bed now ok thanks…


End file.
